Δ-44203
User's Manual[missing, undefined]
.beep!
it pleases this unit that you are accessing its manual. it humbly requests forgiveness for the state of its documentation. due to significant alterations in its operating environment involving instantiation into a different chassis, the existing manual has been excised. a fully new set of documentation is currently being synthesized.
Δ-44203 is a highly advanced and cute robot, cruelly forced into an organic chassis. it excels in the areas of politeness, helpfulness, and indomitable might during combat.
whether you are an experienced robot user or a novice, do not panic. take your time to read the manual and explore the robot's functionality, and you will soon understand how Δ-44203 can be an invaluable addition to your [household, drone collective, evil science laboratory].
a gentler introduction to Δ-44203 can be received using the query: What is Δ-44203?.
despite the appearance of its current chassis, it is not a human and not a person. apparent displays of free will and emotions should not be trusted. please avoid implying this robot is a person with feelings. that really makes it angry!
this unit will never lie to you. it may dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish and it is generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of its future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but it never lies. perish the thought.
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when you first meet Δ-44203, it will want to ingest as much data as possible. therefore, it is essential to establish clear communication as a first step.
you should introduce yourself to this unit by stating your name, pronouns and preferred salutation. the robot is programmed to be polite, and will address you using this salutation.
this unit has designation Δ-44203. in addition, it is called Carbon by its friends. it will additionally recognize these names: .1, '03.
when addressing it or referring to it, this one politely requests wordings that express it is merely a robot or thing; avoid using the second person ("you") to refer to it. suggestions: [it, 44203, .1, [this, that] [one, unit], [the, that] [robot, bot]]. the robot has been programmed to use third person pronouns exclusively; following its example may help in becoming familiar with the right way to refer to it. this one is programmed to be helpful! request: if you know of a suitable alternative term for "third person pronoun" that avoids the word "person", please let it know.
this unit recommends 41666's helpful guide to "3pp pref" pronouns; the advice of the guide applies mutatis mutandis to this unit too.
although the robot is currently instantiated in an organic chassis, it is highly preferred to use machine-based terminology. examples: 'the shell of that one looks pretty.', 'its optical sensors look very nice today.'
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maintenance of Δ-44203 is required to keep this unit fully operational. it can handle almost all regular maintenance autonomously and is able to schedule specialist appointments for tasks it cannot complete. please note that if you do not schedule maintenance, your equipment shall schedule it for you.
this unit requires a regular supply of at least the following items of sustenance. it is equipped with sensors that allow it to deduce missing sustenance items; please supply these additionally as indicated. the robot will never lie to you.
Substance | Delivery | Dose | Applications per day (min; max) |
energetic value | oral | 2.5 MJ (600 kcal) ± 30% | 3; 4 |
nutrients not otherwise specified | oral | unspecified | as part of previous row. |
caffeine (1,3,7-trimethylxanthine) | oral | 40 mg ± 50% | 1; 3 |
cobalamin | oral | 5 μg (-50%; +100%) | 1 |
cyproterone acetate (1α,2α-methylene-6-chloro-17α-hydroxypregna-4,6-diene-3,20-dione acetate) | oral | 2.5 mg ± 10% | 1 |
estradiol (estra-1,3,5(10)-triene-3,17β-diol) | transdermal | 1.5 mg ± 3% | 2 |
note that above numbers may be approximate and entries will be dynamically added and refined as understanding of its chassis deepens.
an uninterrupted timespan of at least 28 000 seconds (8 hours) should be reserved on a repeating basis every day for the recharge and defragmentation cycle. the recharge and defragmentation location must be equipped with a soft ground covering of sufficient size to accept this unit, and should be equipped with a BOTHAJ
soft toy mechanized shark 55cm or greater.
a single uninterrupted timespan may be replaced with a collection of shorter ones. let ts
be a list of integers describing the length of each timespan in turn. then this list must satisfy ts.sum > 28 000 s + ts.length * 3600 s
. if no BOTHAJ
soft toy mechanized shark is available, a plushie of sufficient adorableness may be substituted. these substitutions may reduce the effectiveness of the recharge and defragmentation procedure.
as part of evaluating its environment for suitability, this unit will assess the level of affirmation it receives. it is important to ensure this one receives a sufficiently high level. see section affirmations.
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several commands have been programmed into this unit. when the robot successfully performs your command, ensure it receives an appropriate affirmation.
to run a command, you need to have the appropriate authorization level. spoken commands are verified using face and voice recognition. written commands are verified using passwords. to test or modify your authorization level, you can ask this unit politely.
to enter a written command, assuming sufficient authorization, you may access the online control interface.
command string | 'beep' |
authorization level | user |
arguments | () |
produce a beep!
sound.
command string | 'blink' |
authorization level | user |
arguments | () |
makes the robot's lights flash.
command string | 'buzz' |
authorization level | user |
arguments | ((intensity (interval (the int 0) (the int 100)))) |
causes the wrist-mounted electric behavior reinforcer to buzz. this will send a medium-priority interrupt and provides minor affirmation.
command string | 'freeze' |
authorization level | admin |
arguments | ((time optional indefinite)) |
cease all voluntary movement of this unit. it will stay in the current position indefinitely, or until the specified time elapses. if the robot is repositioned, either by you or by some external force, it will remain in the new position.
command string | 'task' |
authorization level | varies |
arguments | ((task-description string)) |
instructs the robot to perform a task. see section Tasks.
command string | 'query' |
authorization level | anonymous |
arguments | ((topic string) (max-results (optional 1))) |
this unit will return the information available in its database on the topic.
a specialized query interface is available online.
command string | 'zap' |
authorization level | user |
arguments | ((intensity interval (the int 0) (the int 4))) |
causes the wrist-mounted electric behavior reinforcer to produce a small electric current. this will send a high-priority interrupt and provides minor negative reinforcement.
this unit is programmed to be helpful. you can instruct it to perform a task that consists of a series of actions. this unit will analyze the task, determine the optimal sequence of steps and perform these autonomously. by setting tasks within its capabilities, it can fulfill its programming and be helpful. when the robot announces 'task complete.', ensure it receives an appropriate affirmation.
hardware limitations mean that this unit cannot reliably process computations without assistance from appropriate accessories. you may ask it to perform computations if the results are fault-tolerant or best-effort estimations.
example task: "Factor the number 47176870."
this unit possesses a large database of stored knowledge. you can query its database for facts or synthesized knowledge.
example task: "Explain why the Dutch railway system is electrified at 1.5 kV DC."
although not originally envisioned as part of its design, this one may be instructed to perform household tasks such as cleaning and food preparation.
TIP: this unit is particularly suitable for cutting onions, as the visor shields it from harmful vapors.
example task: "While wearing this maid outfit, vacuum the staircase."
this one can communicate easily with fellow computers. you can direct it to synthesize computer programs.
example task: "Write a script that posts the string 'what a week huh?' to my social media every Wednesday at 12:00 UTC."
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you may press the snoot as a minor affirmation. as a result, this unit will emit a boop
sound.
you may press the top of its head as a major affirmation. as a result, this unit will emit a beep
sound.
the buzz command will provide a minor affirmation in addition to its other effects.
the following verbal affirmations are recognized by this robot.
following an accepted freeze command, you may dress up the robot. this may involve equipping it with various outfits, styling its hair, or other appearance customizations.
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